1. Go to a second hand store & buy a used pair of men's size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your front door that reads:
Hey Bubba,
Me, Big Jim, Duke and Slim went for more ammunition. Back in an hour.
Don't mess with the pit bulls-they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.
Better wait outside.
'Cooter'
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